Joanne

    Last night, he gave me a phone call. It was very short. I didn't start any topic. He said he started to watch an amine, the song of which I listened to a lot a year ago. My first feeling was that, he still stopped at the time of a year ago. He doesn't go to the music website to see my current choices of music. Today, when I'm writing this, I think in the past I would feel warm because he still remember I liked that song so much.

    I still obsess a lot about my will of leaving him. I cannot control myself from ostrasizing him in my mind.

    I read a small posting, which asserted that people unconsciously seek a person, who has the same bad qualities as their parents that hurt them when they were very young, as their "another half". So they always feel they got a wrong person. I was shocked. It seems I'm in this case: he, very similar to my father, is not able to stick to his plan or intention, doesn't make efforts to persue what he wants, has little desire and work little to make progress, and doesn't open himself to new things as he said. It makes me feel that his desire of changing jobs in the future just reflects his lack of perseverence and fortitude.

    Sure enough, I cannot stop thinking negatively of him.

    I need to stop this kind of consideration. I need to stop waste my thoughts and time on this.

    I need to focus on my onw life.